Monday, April 10th, 2006
CRUSH OR BE CRUSHED?
(a psycho babble debate)
Nang magtalo ako at ang sarili ko
Someone’s making my heart smile these past few days. I don’t know if this is good but God, I have a CRUSH *KILIG* my heart jumps just thinking about him: the way his eyes disappear whenever he laughs, his sweet unassuming ways. Ahhh, I don’t know, maybe I’m exaggerating his every little move, making it such a grandiose event, when he’s just being himself.
But what worries me is if it’s right for me to feel this way. I know for a fact that harboring this will only lead me nowhere. I mean, he doesn’t feel the same way, for him, I am just a friend. At least I’m hoping I am, we don’t see each other as often as I would like and when we do see each other, it’s always in a group, so we haven’t really talked one on one. So it’s kinda pointless for me to allow myself to feel this way.
Pero bakit ba? Masaya lang naman ako na naiisip ko siya, inspirasyon dava? Hindi naman masama un no?
It’s not wrong yes, but pointless, that’s what i’m saying, bahala ka, sa bandang huli, ikaw lang and masasaktan.
Hala, napaka-nega naman nito, crush lang naman, hindi ko pa naman mahal ung tao, malaki pagkakaiba nun.
Fine, go at your own risk.
My, my, my, will you look at that, only an oddball like me can let a simple crush turn into an outrageous self-debate. This is crazy. But can I really blame myself? Past relationships has taught me to be distrustful, err, let’s just say, a wee bit more careful. Honestly, it’s starting to get tiring, to be always on your guard; keeping your walls up just to protect yourself from getting hurt again. Since when have I become a coward? Before, I used to dare love, and now I’m tip-toeing in its fragile walls careful not to let the dam break.
But can I really escape it? Would I be brave enough to accept love in all its pain and glory? to face it in all its rawness and entirety?
Hell yeah. IF and WHEN the right moment comes,
BRING IT ON.
But until then, I’m keeping my heart at bay, I will try with all my might not get carried away….
MY SONG FOR THE MOMENT….
UNA
By SPONGECOLA
I love you Yael!!!! :p
muli namang umihip sa akin
ang hangin ng pagiisa
liwanag kang dagling sumilaw
sa aking mga mata
linilingon, sinusundan
dumadalas ang minsan
ika’y naryan, abot tanaw
kahit walang dahilan
maiiwasan ba
ang bawat sandaling ika’y laman ng isip ko
(maiiwasan bang)
ngayo’y lilipas ng hindi kita nasisilayan
(magkamali sa’yo)
nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na
(maiiwasan bang)
lalong mahulog sa iyo
walang maitutulad sa sumpang iyong linikha
putulin man ang tali ay sadyang walang kawala
sa pagkaakit, at di paglapit
nananalangin, at umaasang
maiiwasan ba
ang bawat sandaling ika’y laman ng isip ko
(maiiwasan bang)
ngayo’y lilipas ng hindi kita nasisilayan
(magkamali sa’yo)
nararapat bang pigilan ang damdamin na
(maiiwasan bang)
lalong mahulog sa iyo
hindi padadala
hinding hindi padadala
hindi padadala
